Time to self-obsess a little, I guess. It's hard to articulate my thoughts in day-to-day conversation, yet when at a keyboard, things just seem to flow. So I'll be writing my ramblings up on here, when the need to "vent" arises, without a care in the world for anyone reading it. This is an anonymous blog. Time to mind-spoodge.
I guess I'd quite like to dig up some of my past. Something that really annoys me is the inability to remember so much of my childhood. My only explanation for this can be seen in my day-to-day behaviour. So often I find myself just nodding in agreement to a conversation that I no longer have any grasp of. Not because I haven't followed the conversation, but more because I've already filled in the gaps in my head, through what I would consider "common sense", thus rendering the rest of the conversation quite pointless. It's rude and disrespectful, and sure, people throw curve-balls into the chat, and then I'll perk up and re-visit some points to clarify, but in general, I find listening to people a real chore. I'd much rather let the mind wander.
This doesn't seem like a good explanation for poor memory, but I have a feeling that my attention to detail has always been pretty poor, including towards general experiences. I can remember some creations that I made using Lego, as a little kid. But I can't remember any of my birthday parties. Come to think of it, I don't even remember what I did 2 years ago for my birthday.
Anyways, in summary, I've come to the conclusion that unless I have a lot of respect for an individual, I will find it incredibly difficult to hold an "engaged" conversation with them. This kinda sucks... I would much rather be a socialite who enjoys talking to anyone.
